2009 Review

in photos! also known as 2009 exercise in vanity
Some taken by me, others grabbed without permission. =D

January

Just after our last written exam for the AY

February

As med tech interns in PGH

March

Cluster meeting in San Juan

April

Graduation!

May
Working as a research assistant and for some reason I have found no picture of that.

June

With orgmates... oldest one in the pic.

July

Anatomy group -1 in dissection hall

August

UPerture Photowalk

September

As Ondoy rages

October

 Skating in MoA

November

Friend's birthday dinner

December

TRP opening number

Bonus! Where's Ado?


Hint: You'll have to look for my hair.

Hating on multiply and its broken import function. They're really trying hard to discourage users from uploading pictures first at dedicated photo hosting sites such as Flickr and Photobucket. And right when the Photobucket bulk uploader has started working for me.

Anyway, here are some photos of things from december...

It looks like I'm not going to make my 500th post by the end of the year which is fine. I don't want to make it look like I'm having too much free time in med school. Totally untrue...

And people who made med school not too sucky...

We do have a proper group pic in case you're wondering.

 “The party-list system is not a tool to advocate tolerance and acceptance of misunderstood persons or groups of persons.”Mr. Melo of the COMELEC opines as he denies Ang Ladlad its accreditation.

Then what is the eff*n partylist system for?

And in affirming the proposed inherent immorality of LGBT individuals, shouldn't then the police be rounding up every out and open homosexual and transsexual in the country for being indecent?

Melo also adds, "How do we resolve matters of morality? Through our background."

Do you know we have ethics experts and established ethical committees in the country? And no, they don't use their biased and colored background. They use reason, principles and landmark cases to resolve matters of morality.

And norms don't equate to morals. It may be the norm for politicians to be corrupt, that doesn't make it moral. It may be the norm to pee in sidewalks and other public places and that doesn't make it right.

Walking along the oval...

The weather didn't cooperate and turned cloudy just as the parade was passing by Engineering. It pains me to see how crappy the parade photos turned out.

And trees! Oh glorious trees!

Organic food is not equal to sustainable food.

Why would you even reject technology if it has been shown to be able to drastically improve efficiency (yield per land and labor units)? Because it's natural? F*ck that.

I don't know what's the obsession of those people in the Western hemisphere with going organic and local and all that crap. They want to help the environment AND the farmers. They feel better when they eat "sustainably." Guess what? Farmers in developing countries HAVE to export their goods to your country to earn. These farmers don't give a crap about organic labels because they know that forgetting to apply fertilizers or pesticides (that will degrade into trace concentrations anyway) will determine whether they will starve or survive till the next planting season.Think about the whole picture, the global picture and you'd probably be not so proud of yourself.

Not that I'm arguing against using total rejection of organic methods (buying just local maybe...). Farmers have practices that should be changed in order to improve the environment's condition. Allowing them to use GM crops is NOT of those practices that should be barred. I say keep the good practices and throw the dogma. Don't go romantic on us, a farmer's life is far from romantic.

Weird things...

"Ang ganda mo." totally inappropriate adjective

"Padaanin niyo ang doktor, sa susunod na mga taon manggagamot na iyan." at least hindi ako napagkamalang nurse

While a friend was lining up for the photocopy machine, he overheard two girls whisper my name and my course. It wouldn't be weird if it wasn't in Diliman. I don't know those effing girls.

"Bakit hindi ikaw ang gumawa?" Uh... sorry. Ang dami kayang tinatambak ng org na iyan sa akin na i-isang APP pa lamang  Tama ba namang gawing rep sa interschool meeting ang isang APP?(not that I'm incapable, it's just weird and risky org practice)

Tondo

Life will finally return to normal. I've had fun performing in TRP. Hopefully, next year will be just as fun.

low grades... ugh...

Hell of a non-academic kind. On Wednesday, I have to teleport from UPCM to my home for an online meeting. Of course, I wouldn't be having this kind of problem if upmnet will be allowing Skype.

Friday will be the most horrifying day where I have to rehearse at 12AM, trans for the morning lecture and then perform three times (2 dances and 1 song) then on Saturday I have to go teach my chem tutee in order to have money to spend for the Christmas celebrations. Then I have to study for two exams the following week.

And something important will probably pop up and I'll even have more stuff to cram into my self.

Have I mentioned I already lost the weight I gained last sembreak? I already see my too prominent cheekbones making me look more skull like than ever.

Through all this personal mess, I find myself less attached to social issues such as the Maguindanao massacre, injustice to the LGBT community and the presidential race.

And I've just heard a retired professor on a religious radio talk show (not that the nature of the program is to blame... or maybe it is?) about how climate change is caused by water vapor, changes in sun radiation and other non-carbon factors. Really irresponsible and unethical for that professor. You've not been teaching for 9 years and probably hasn't kept with the times (or you follow some dubious sources). Regarding fields where you are not or no longer an expert, please shut up or provide a disclaimer at the very least. Last thing the Philippines need is the emergence of a climate change skeptic community. Fortunately, we are at the mercy of climate change and the skeptics would really have a hard time convincing people not to worry and just accept what is happening.

The comments on a certain PhilStar Article makes me want to vomit. How come there are still people who think that being part of the LGBT is a mental disease? How can they not see the LGBT as a legitimate marginalized sector in our society? Actually, the LGBT is one of the best examples of a marginalized sector needing dire representation.

It is true that the State (actually, everybody) should protect the youth from moral and spiritual degradation.
As such we have the minimum drinking age law, laws that prevent them from being jailed and institutions that offer counseling to victims of abuse to prevent a downhill spiral to becoming sociopaths. The COMELEC, however; seems to have forgotten to check the definition of the words "moral" and "spiritual." They should realize that moral, spiritual and religious are not synonyms. Nor is it right (in every sense of the word) to use Catholic and Islamic doctrine to justify their claim that LGBTs can cause moral degradation. The scientist in me is shouting that they should have atleast cited a study wherein children raised by homosexual couples are more immoral (or atleast exhibit deviant behavior) than conventionally raised children. They could also show that schools who accept LGBT teachers have higher rates of juvenile delinquency. Raising the Bible and Qu'ran just doesn't cut it. They may offend you but that doesn't mean it is immoral. Bad breath is offensive but it is certainly not immoral. And they shouldn't even dare to claim the homosexuality is a transmittable disease because its not. It is not a disease period.

Returning to morality and spirituality, the government being a secular institution (we are not in the Unitied Catholic and Muslim States of the Philippines, right?) should use secular ethics and principles or at the very least use it in adjunct to their arguments citing dominant religious ethics. They should allow for an environment where the youth are allowed to make their own decisions. They shouldn't be an environment censored and controlled by the ruling class. The COMELEC has no right to impose their beliefs on everyone especially if those beliefs can only be supported using supernatural beings and religious texts.

Let us expand their argument a bit to LGBTs are harmful to the youth. As far as the current evidence shows, LGBTs are not a separate human species which can carry but not be harmed by diseases that can kill the youth. They are equally capable of gaining and sharing skills and knowledge. They are equally capable of contributing to society. Nor are they the sole carriers of the sins of society such as alcoholism and polygamous relationships because straight people are capable of those things and may even exhibit them at proportions greater than the LGBT. It bothers me that the only harm I could think of is the nauseated feeling some homophobic people get from seeing LGBT couples... wait, seeing LGBT people just breathing make them sick. Unless this brand of nausea has caused massive deaths and disabilities or calamities the level of Ondoy, I see no reason to mark the LGBT as a harmful agent (in terms of health and morals) to society thus the youth shouldn't even be protected from them.

FTW?!

They were at least a real party representing real people unlike this one which represents people they don't even have as members.

School starts again tomorrow. Not yet in the bored to death with the break phase which means I'm not ready.

My parents "accidentally" printed a whole CD of pictures... bad pictures... bad pictures taken by my brother. Think how much that cost! Money wasted just because they can't follow my very simple and clear instructions. Now whenever I look at our pictures from japan, I'll remember this shitload of a mess. I feel angry again.

On the other hand, I finally found evidence that foodies and people at the cooking network are full of BS regarding food. Buy local! Buy freaking local! Like that'll save the world. I was always wondering how efficient it is to transport one crate of tomatoes over a few miles versus a thousand crates over thousands of miles. And shudder at how they romanticize the life of farmers, they should really try going to developing countries and ask farmers how "wonderful" their lives are. NGC also has fault with their food lovers guide to the world series by trying to promote the organic and local only movements. Blegh... ideology over reason. People being brainwashed to buy goods grown the natural way and shunning over processed foods. For that matter, what is the meaning of over processed? Of course, in the environmental sense, consuming foods with less carbon input is indeed better but you have to look at the whole picture. Maybe freezing foods or turning them into long shelf life forms are more efficient than selling them in their original state. Maybe country X needs this fruit grown in country Y. So I'm ranting... I also feel that the local foods only movement is a way of oppressing the agricultural countries whose economies rely on a strong international market.

My first week of vacation is almost finished.
I don't feel like returning to med school just yet. Weeks which do not end in exams are nice.

We're supposed to be experiencing a typhoon right now but it has been awfully quiet. I hope I'm not jinxing it or anything. I probably won't survive tomorrow if there's no internet. Well, I'm exaggerating really; I have my med books.

I have never supported Chiz. There's just something about him that reeks of evilness. Similar to the feeling I get from Erap actually.

"Ang partido lamang dapat niya ay Pilipinas at ang kanyang mga kapartido ay lahat ng Pilipino." - Chiz

Uh... you can't do that. A party is a group of people with similar stances on key issues. It exists to form a strong and unified voice on a certain issue. Forming a single unified stand on issues is impossible for this nation. For example, you cannot have a party of secular Filipinos with very religious Filipino Catholics. That party will never be able to form a decision regarding key issues such as population control and management. You can't please everyone. In the first place, who gave you the right to do that? I for one don't want you in my party (if I would ever have one).He also leaves a party of Filipinos to join a party which has all Filipinos as members. I feel a disturbance in the Force.

"Para po sa akin, hindi dapat idikta ng isang partido ang gagawin ng sino mang tatakbo. Dahil kung ganoon, papaano niya mapapanagot ang mga tiwali sa gobyerno kung ito ay kagrupo o kasama niya?" - Cheeze

There's a thing we call leadership where you encourage your party to agree with your beliefs and make them follow you not the other way around. If you think your being a mere puppet of your party then you're probably not qualified to be the president. And are you saying that there are corrupt individuals in your party? Then why are you leaving it? Aren't you supposed to be doing the opposite, forcing those corrupt people to leave? Returning to your previous statement, you say you want a party of all Filipinos but you don't want corrupt people and clearly, there are no corrupt Filipinos in the world.

Besides why should we support a candidate with no party backing him or her. That president would be a cripple and be at the mercy of a Congress that would antagonize his every move. For all of GMA's faults, she and her party were very successful in securing power and that is what every presidentiable should aspire to mimic. It makes the development process much faster.  (Granted, the minority should still exist just not too the point where voting for laws always end up in deadlocks.)

self in room

Because I was bored and have a narcissistic side

We had to set our own personal objectives during our first subject in med school. So far, I have only one thing left to accomplish and I'm just too lazy to do that. Well not really, the meet-ups take place in a place too far from home. Besides, I can only tolerate a certain amount of pomp and intellect in a day.

Well, I did attend a similar meeting today. Unfortunately, it was a waste of my time and money. The only good thing I've got from the thing is that I was finally able to buy the novel Tutubi tutubi... by Jun Cruz Reyes.

And I finally got a tutoring job. I don't know if it's going to be permanent though because med school manages to find ways to drain ones will to impart knowledge. And I have made my Saturdays sacred days of rest, recollection and general bumming around (and I'm still agnostic so don't get your hopes up).

Due to my sudden employment and a host of organization (again?!) related activities, I haven't been able to enjoy my sem break yet. For the first few days, I was actually at a lost of what I will do. Nothing to study but so many things to worry about.

I'm hoping to maintain my sanity in med school. Wait... I will remain sane. Of course, people already view me as demented and emotionally broken so that's not much of a resolution.

Going to bed (but it's only 9:30! Shock! Gasp!) now.

And, I'm starting to plan our family summer vacation. We'll be "turistang Pinoy" again. Hopefully, my parents will agree to go to Palawan. But I still have to work out my organization summer immersions schedule first.

MY Sembreak finally starts.

Still stressed though.

Yesterday was such a long day.
Morning was the Biochemistry/Immunology/Molecular Biology/Physiology exam.
It left us tired but it wasn't over yet.

We still had ward work and most of us felt the need to crack open a few transes.

Our group came early. We finished performing the neuro exam but our consultant didn't arrive until much later. So we loafed around.

While other groups are happily leaving the wards.

She finally came, ward work ended and off I went to the Mooncake party hosted by UP Meridian.

And no I am not a member of this org.

Did end up helping a bit though.

We ate, talked and fell in line for the Dice game.

So that's the last day of classes for me. Next week will just be exams, more exams and a proposal waiting to be finished and bound.

And blogger is finally fixed.

Blogger is still messed up. If this doesn't resolve I might have to move.

Taking tests for stuff you know you know enough sucks. Seeing the scores suck even more.

I'm really eager for the end of this semester. But sem break is starting to sound less of a break and more of time spent catching up on stuff I need to do.

Two of the mangas I follow just ended.
I really don't mind Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles ending because it's giving me a headache but Nodame Cantabile!
Why? This sucks... I'm sad. The ending was really nice but it's just so unexpected. *sigh* Nodame hasn't even performed a real concerto with Chiaki. Aargh...
Okay, I'm pathetic.

So IE works fine but Firefox doesn't.
From the forums, google chrome doesn't work either.
Is this just a ploy?

Why is blogger being twisty and difficult?

I've been reading a lot.

but I am Deprived of the pleasures of reading.

Reading for pleasure. I miss you so.

It's not helping that I have to pass through National Bookstore everytime I go inside Robinson's.
It's not helping that the shelves have recently been restocked with new titles, new editions and oh so pretty book covers (yes, I'm shallow...)

I need to drown myself in new novels this sembreak.

School will start again on Monday. My attempt to finish our proposal failed due to uncooperative groupmates. Some had valid reasons, others I don't know... I think they're just being irresponsible (would it kill them to reply to my text message?).

On the other hand, I spent too days helping out in the UPM relief efforts although I didn't participate in the distribution and med missions. I'm still a med mission virgin. Yes! Judging from the stories from other people, the med missions didn't just serve to meet the health consequences of Ondoy. They provided means for people who have no money or time to consult a health professional regarding their diseases. It was a bit funny (I'm twisted, ok?) to hear that one of the leading morbidities in a med mission was hypertension. Hypertension. Disasters don't result in hypertension. A single butter-laden meal doesn't cause hypertension. Funny, right? Just shows how poor the health system is in encouraging people to get their yearly check-up or at least visit the health center for illnesses (granted, HPN can be asymptomatic).

Also, Red Cross can be sexist. They have this policy of excluding females from tasks which involve carrying heavy objects such as sacks of rice. How they could be so backward is beyond me but then again, it is a Filipino-run organization so maybe. Doesn't erase the fact that it is a stupid policy. I really don't want to hear that lame argument of males being stronger than females. Individual females may be incapable of carrying a sack of rice but there is nothing that will prevent them from working together or using machines (wheels, levers, etc), right?

---
I also went skating last Friday. It was really nice to have a nearly empty rink. It was cold. There was a mist. And you could go faster and do more things without worrying about hurting someone. I should do it again but I have to come on a weekday though.

Spent a good part of the day repacking stuff and will probably be doing that again tomorrow due to the whole week suspension of classes in UPM.

There were too many people for the available tasks. When a shipment of stuff appears, it takes less than 30mins to repack all of it. People who volunteered for Red Cross say there's also a surplus of volunteers. Methinks a volunteer network/sign up tool should be created, at least for UPM. I know there's Pahinungod and virtually every College has the SC and an org for this kind of thing but there's this issue of coordination and resource (in this case, volunteers) allocation. How many and what kind of people (skills, experience, preferences) should be deployed to volunteering sites such as repacking areas, Red Cross/Crescent chapters, whatnot are things the coordinators would be tackling. I'm all about efficiency and maximizing the use of the volunteers' skill set. Besides, the time we spend waiting for new stuff to arrive could be spent in other ways.

I am truly amazed at the level of mobilization in the NCR right now. Milenyo and the other storms didn't generate this level of concern and activity. I don't know if this is the effect of direct damage in the NCR(literally every NCR resident was a victim or was close to someone who was a victim of Ondoy), the high coverage of the media or finally a tangible effect of all those "hip" commercialist nationalistic drives featuring fashionable accessories, shirts and whatnot (in fairness to those efforts, "pirated" versions of their merchandise has become widely available).

Facebook or multiply groups with sign-up applications. Mobile and SMS technology could also be used. Maybe I should suggest it to our formations committee.

---
In the meantime, I've stopped studying for exams and resumed watching series online. Yey early sembreak. Too bad we have tests and a proposal to look forward to the next weeks.

 Bayang Pilipinas, utang muna ako ng aking oras. Marami pa akong dapat gawin. Oo na, masama na akong tao.

Because I don't know how to say no, I ended up walking from Monumento to Balintawak* fighting the wind and the rain with a broken umbrella. I also had to endure a full bladder.

The experience was so horrible I was tempted to pee in my pants. I figured no one will notice anyway. Luckily there were still some open establishments in EDSA and I managed to relieve my bladder.

However, I still had to contend with a broken umbrella.

Did I mention I had my camera and cellphone with me? Thankfully,  my mother bought a Logitech camera bag for it so it remained dry while I was wet, cold and numb.


The experience really tested my character. In one of the events I attended today, we talked about peace, war and conflict. I think I now know a little about the suffering they endure. Of course, their suffering is a thousands or a millions times greater but now I know what real suffering is.

The moral is when the weather bureau tells you that there's going to be a storm on a certain day, stay at home regardless of other commitments you have. But if you do that, you'd have one less funny story to tell your descendants.

And I really am grateful for having a home on a higher region where flooding remains a foreign concept. The highest "flood" we ever had barely reached my ankles and that is only on certain areas of the road. I feel sorry for those living in the lower regions though. Some residential areas are severely flooded and some are nearly underwater. Roads have submerged Balintawak has turned to a lake and Taft cor P.Gil waters achieved a new record: waters reaching up to the thighs (I heard one person say "abot panty.")

* - Actually, I walked a few more kilometers to Balumbato but you probably don't know where that is.

September is fading into October. I feel the end of this semester. Rhyme unintended. But seriously, I'm starting to feel that burst of energy one feels when a semester nears its end. I'm starting to adjust to not getting the scores that I want. And I'm starting to realize that research would be really good place to be in.

I've already achieved to of my objectives for this year: organize an event and work with disorganized people. Oh how I regret making that a 2nd objective. It's such a pain to work with those people. However I'm starting to find people I know I would love to work with in group projects. It's just too bad that many of these people are alphabetically too distant from me.

It sucks that I have to bring our mercury sphygmomanometer to school tomorrow. Have they forgotten how hard and dangerous to lug that mercuy bomb around?! And I don't understand why EVERYONE has to bring a BP App for the physiology exercises.

And I've got my lowest grade yet and for a subject I figured I'd be better at.

And my classmates still keep some respect for me, despite my subpar performance. It boggles but it's nice to retain a bit of clout.

So my Lolo (the non-MD) died a while ago. I'm okay. We weren't too close. I visited him in the hospital yesterday and watching him was painful. I wouldn't want to live that way nor would I want him to live in that state. He did have a full life unlike my Lola who died abruptly.

I do hope that my Lola(the one who is alive) is okay and will live for a longer time. I want her to see me get my MD and my take my oath as a registered physician.

I've been working on the training kit we'll be using for a seminar on the Mindanao situation. Looking and scanning through articles, I realize how messed up the conflict in Mindanao is. It's so sad that the Philippines really seem to be "running in place." Unfortunately, here in Manila we are too caught up in other issues to notice. Hopefully, we'll hear the strategies of the "presidentiables" for Mindanao in the coming campaign period. I doubt Noynoy has something though (noynoy bashing. hahaha) much less Erap (hahaha). Oh well, I'll give them time to formulate their strategies and wait for the debates.

Forgot to send something important.

Reading up on methods for cancer research.

Body aching from that training session.

Sleep deprived.

Another whole day exam looming... looming... looming.

Ah med life.

Another holiday spent studying. Not really...

Ok, pGMA is totally whack and being such a kiss-ass to the huge INC faction. Really, she should know that her support for a candidate is a curse rather than a boon. Even giving a holiday will probably fail to convince the INC leaders to command their followers to vote for GMA's bet.

Such stupid reasons for declaring a holiday really. I don't remember devoting a holiday for Cardinal Sin who is a the leader of the church of the overwhelming majority. I don't ever remember devoting a holiday for the death of a muslim leader. Really...

Okay, with that out I am kind of thankful of the holiday because it gave yet more time to study os201.

I've danced on stage again. I like how people are congratulating me on my performance but I don't want to perform again any time soon. I tend to stress about the performance for days. Not good, not good at all.

In other news, our Biochem exam got moved again. Now I have to study real hard. Hahahaha. No more excuses for getting a not so good grade.

---
The Noynoy thing? How come I only learned he was a senator after Cory's funeral? WTF was he doing the past years? What law or program could he proudly stamp his name unto? Sorry Mr de Quiros but a person not wanting the presidency means he knows he is incapable of it. Don't go into the romantic BS. I also believe that Power attracts the corruptible but the presidency is such a big deal that he or she needs to have at least a vision and strategy for the country outside of motherhood statements such as no more graft and corruption or no more poverty.

And another Aquino in leadership roles reeks of Trapos and Political dynasties. Leadership doesn't necessarily run in families. I don't remember him being very vocal about national issues. If Noynoy were like Ninoy or Cory, I'd have heard of him somehow.

No desire, no vision, no to Noynoy.

Circumstances might force me to skip the Tuesday conference tomorrow. Maybe I'll just sign the attendance and do some work. Sicko is a good movie but I've seen it three times already, I've had enough. I've already been reading on health equity papers that the movie may seem a bit shallow (but still powerful) already.

I'm just ranting because I have so many things to do.

But I think next week will be better. I always say that though.

Two modules left for the first semester and I'm already sick of learning about the human body. So far, I have yet to find proof that one needs to be a doctor to be qualified as a secretary of health or a health administrator. Why would you even need knowing which parts are destroyed during surgery if you won't be performing that any time soon or in the future after internship? I'm still dead set on what Dr. Galvez-Tan calls "the path less travelled." For me it is public health work focusing on ensuring health equity through efficient systems and maybe, quality of health human resources. Or if I find some opportunity, establishing good patient databases and registries which would increase the rate of research in the Philippines.

What I think I should learn more is how to communicate in English. Articulate my thoughts fast enough that I can form them into coherent paragraphs, orally that is. And maybe a new computer language or how to design and create an online and/or digital database.

I was happy to learn that there are faster ways of getting into health organizations (not hospitals... duh!) rather than working through a residency program.

I heard Noynoy Aquino proclaim that his parents, Ninoy and Cory, were just ordinary people who did their jobs. That is just so wrong. If they just did their job, Cory would have remained a housewife and Ninoy would probably still be alive. The Aquinos might be one of the most hated families in Philippine history for giving up on the fight for democracy.

And that "there's a small Ninoy in all of us" is BS. Ninoy in us is so tiny we are rendered unable to do any thing except for pseudo-nationalistic entrepeneurial ventures which is a lame ass attempt to boost nationalism among Filipinos. An empty nationalism which is very near the white supremacist creed. Filipinos are great can easily turn into Filipinos are the greater than other nationalities just because they are Filipinos. Fortunately, we don't have a twisted leader who'll turn us into the next generation Nazi force.

I'm dreading the upcoming exam in Anatomy.

Somehow, I keep on underperforming or underachieving... whatever. I don't like my new found (what I see) mediocrity. Something I've wanted in the past but I now hate to have. That was a time when my dreams were small, tiny and selfish. My dreams are still selfish but grander and I can't achieve that easily if I don't do better in med school.

Still haven't failed an exam though which is a small achievement I guess.

And I hate how med school (curricular and extra-curricular) is eating up my spare time. I'm finding it hard to picture myself being a commuter for the next four years.

I finally landed my first tutor job but I had to give it up. With the demands of med school and my inability to let go of extra-curricular activities, I just had to. It seems that I'll still be mooching off my parents and plans for buying a news lens or an analog camera by Christmas would not be happening.

---
Yesterday instead of studying for the big test on Monday, I attended a day long seminar-workshop on health. I ended up as a participant instead of a facilitator but whatever. It was painful to have a group discussion which you could have easily dominated. We didn't use meta-cards so it was much harder to extract ideas from the other participants. However, I am happy to see some people now know about the intricacies of health and the Philippine Health system. I'm sad though that they're pessimistic about health system reform... disempowered seems to be a good word.

I have a busy week ahead and I have to work more to pull up my grades. They're not very pleasing.

Sample exams.

I feel bad about having to use them.


Grades don't matter too much in med school, as long as you pass is the objective. Despite this, I still felt the need to use the samplex.

It bothers me why I have to resort to sample exams. Do I fear failing the exam? Or, do I fear that my exam scores won't be high enough to achieve my goals? Or worse, am I being competitive again and fear the "just average" label?

Why can't I at least have "pure intentions" regarding samplex use?

I just got my book from Pfizer:
"Moments in Leadership: Case Studies in Public Health Policy and Practice"

I'm thinking this will keep me sane through first semester. I'm also hoping that this will assure that I never lose my PH way of thinking (health systems, cost-effectiveness, consequences).

---
Only a few in our batch passed our Gross Anatomy exam. I'm not confident that I passed after realizing the number of trick questions that were included.

When you fall down, you pick yourself up and stand again... wiser and stronger.

It's okay if I fail but it'll jeopardize my desire to be eligible for the Track B internship in my 5th year. Then again there's always the final exams.

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In other news, I'm sorely disappointed with one of my extra-curricular activities. Poor organization. Whatever happened to the vision of a 5-star physician? Doctor nga wala namang alam sa mundong ginagalawan. Ano ba yan?!

Studying the intricacies of the hand. Anatomy doesn't scare me much anymore. I hope that is still the case after the exam tomorrow. Surprisingly, Histology is starting to bare its nasty claws again but I think it's just my stupid pride.

No classes on Monday. Another sad day for med students. Though I dislike dissection sessions, I do not want to sacrifice on due to the celebration of a religious group. Stupid group who has to hold their celebrations on a workday. But it was quite funny to read the thinly veiled attempts of CHED to decrease the number of people who will attend the SONA rallies. I'm not going because I have a test on Tuesday which I need to prepare for really well. And as I was listening to the reasons of DepEd, I suddenly found myself transported to a communist country where people have to stop working to listen to the speech of our great leader. Hohoho!

Very hot and humid weather.

I really hope it starts to rain again soon.

---
The past week has been though on my body. I'm not sick just very tired physically. We had three dissection sessions this week involving skinning the body, removing fascia and looking for different anatomical structures. I like dissecting though because there is great fulfillment in finding that tiny structure hidden under a pile of connective tissue, fat and muscle. And what's better is scary structures stop being scary because I can now visualize them in my head and have felt them with my hands.

The really bad thing though is the formalin. It makes you cry. It makes you nauseous. It makes my nose runny and painful.

---
I've volunteered for something big. I'm excited. Will tell more once, I'm done with it.

http://www.bulatlat.com/main/2009/07/19/lohika-ng-rali/2/ - Warning: Nosebleed Filipino for the uninitiated

Basically, he says that rallies are the best exercise of activism. For even though the success of the rally couldn't be proven or measured, the participants feel that it is a success. A collective experience of releasing pent up anger and thoughts. A sense of empowerment. A feeling that one is able to do anything.

Now for the more practical among us, rallies are inefficient (though can be highly effective) ways of raising demands. I tend towards the advocacy over the activism side because of this. I find it really hard to participate in something so inefficient, something messy, disorganized and an activity largely fueled by emotion rather than actual contemplation.

The author is bothered why there are few UP students who have attended rallies. He argues that the liberal education and liberating education, we should have experienced or should be experiencing would necessarily lead us to see that rallies are good tools for raising our voices and promoting change. Again, a myopic view of liberal and liberating education. Of course, it is entirely plausible UP is failing to liberate the minds of its students which should then entail curricular revisions and changes in the teaching methods used.

Went to Cinemalaya Cinco.

Watched Sanglaan (meh... just okay overall) and Last Supper No. 3 (frustrating, hilarious and with a hint of sadness).

Saw Mylene Dizon who became so much hotter all of a sudden after years of disappearance. Sorely tempted to get her autograph. Hello? Star of 100?

Sorely tempted to steal a photo from an interactive art exhibit. Just might do it tomorrow.

I really want to watch Engkwentro but most of it's show times are inaccessible for me unless I skip the Acquaintance party on Friday. hmm...

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Designing health education materials again. I really don't like this task; too many art components for my taste.

I'm going to have a very interesting Friday next week. I'm really excited.

Life has been slowly moving towards a routine or some semblance of order at least. I'm still wary of the upcoming curve ball that will make life more interesting.

better if I had wider lens...hm...

I don't know why I keep taking down notes in class. I almost never read them unless the transcriptions are really bad and even then, I'd consult the books first. It's even bad for the environment in way because I use up paper and ink.

I maintain that it's primary use is to keep me awake through class. Then again, note taking is still not enough during siesta period where I end up dozing off while jotting something down.

It's not for practicing my handwriting which has been sucky since forever.

I would like to believe it's helpful in synthesizing and integrating knowledge and concepts. I especially like it when majority of my notes are diagrams and drawings. If you can make it into a diagram or drawing, you know and understand it. Of course, diagrams have limitations but I have my brain to fill up those missing pieces and contradictions.

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My love for photography has returned. Last night I spent a good hour in post-processing and uploading pictures. It's so therapeutic. Looking at pictures you took, discovering the beauty it contains. *sigh*

I don't have fisheye lens or a lomo can. Just played around with a lomo viewfinder.

ps
The thing about OSI curriculum demanding that you read multiple books for one lecture: It's true. I'm juggling three books right now.