I'm finally home with a dead laptop. Two days of not studying is starting to creep towards me. I can already feel the pangs of guilt and the oh painful tendrils of stress.

december 17 or the day I went to the Lantern parade carrying a big box of presents

my first "publication" You won't find my name in there but I was the one who formulated how to get ideas, compiled the inputs, made the 1st draft and edited the 2nd draft.

At my uncle's wake in Bulacan listening to A Very Potter Musical while wallowing at the dearth of good reading material since I forgot to bring my copy of the Once and Future King. The only things I have with me are medicine e-books.

Got an unexpected unintended present today, tons of old med books. Looks like I won't be needing to fight with people of library copies of textbooks. Thank the universe for rich relatives.

Excited for summer. Have to keep these things in mind as I cram for the comprehensive exam for March. Trips to Davao and Beijing. National conference. Potential work. Scientific writing workshop. RSO immersion. Org planning.

It's been a crazy December. Hindi na naman ako med student. Napaparami ata ang buwan na hindi ako student. Feeling ko ganito uli sa March. hahaha

barely catching up on the news.

The Morong 43 are free! I don't know why it took PNoy so long. Maybe he wanted to time it with HR day but that's the lamest excuse ever.

wag ka na lang mag-aral sa UP

kung ganito ang paniniwala mo. Sa pagpasok mo sa UP (sa kahit anong paaralan naman) inaako mo ang responsibilidad na tulungan ito makamit ang kanilang bisyon. Hindi na nga hinihingi na maging "excellent" o ma-laude kayo, papasa na lang. Sa mata nga ng marami, binabaan na ang standards para sa iyo tapos di niyo pa pinahahalagahan bagkus (naks, nagamit rin ang bagkus) pinipilit niyo pa iharap na nag-aaral naman kayo sa ibang lugar nga lang; ang edukasyon niyong nakukuha ay walang katumbas na grades ika nga. Problema lang hindi ang edukasyong gusto ng institusyon ng iyong pinanggalingan ang iyong natutunan. Baguhin natin, hindi mo natututunan ang dapat mong nakukuha sana kung kahit minsan manatili ka sa loob ng silid aralan. Aanhin mo ang doktor na hindi marunong manggamot dahil may iba siyang gustong aralin. Eh di sana di ka na nag-enroll. Sayang ang slot. Sayang ang paunti na paunti na resources ng UP. At dahil sa kapabayaan niyo, nawalan kami ng mga lider. Oo, naninisi kami. Sino ba ang kanilang binigo?

Aminin na kasi na may malaking pagkakamali nagawa.

PS Mali ang blue at dilaw. Walang relasyon ang pagiging tibak sa grades. Kung tinatanong siguro ano ba ang ideal na tibak na UP, baka pwede na sagot iyon.

Ayaw ko na. Christmas break na please.

And I really should be updating my blog roll. I think half closed down already and the rest are not posting regularly (once a week).

We won TRP. Yey!

But now I have to:
1. Go to this afternoon thing
2. Study for the Diabetes exam on Monday.
3. Write that ward work paper.
4. Ponder/Worry about our research project that is finished but not really so we're still doing it.
5. Help out my org which is going to have their 1st ever (mini)concert.
6. Prepare for our SGDs, plenary presentations and elective discussions.

Isa kang malaking pasaway. Lantaran pa. Sige ikaw na tama, kala mo naman may susunod sa iyo.

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So my aunt just arrived from the UK and guess what she brought for me. The Gathering Storm. It was nice of her but unfortunately I had already bought a copy way back in October as an end of the semester gift for myself. What's more sad is that I don't think we can return the book because it looks damaged already. I don't know how it happened but there are some tiny tears and it looked liked that some of the black color of the cover was chipped of. I don't know if I want to laugh, scream or cry. Gaaah!

Maybe I should just sell it on Ebay or something. *sigh*

Wondering what it's going to be like if I decide to quit med school and start dancing seriously or join a Public health organization, doing research or community work.

No duh.

In other news, our research deadline was moved to January. We can do more trials. Uh... yey? We do need it and I really feel good about this research project. We have really good results, we just need to finish it.

I have a new goal in med school. Apparently, the admin and the faculty decided that just having a 2.75 average is not enough to merit entry into the Track B and Track C programs. We now have to be in the top 30% and 20% respectively. I do hope I'm in the top 20%. I really want to focus on a certain field of medicine for internship year. The skills in this field are not taught really well in the other tracks so there.

Of course the problem with this system is that not everyone in the top 20 and 30%  want to get into Tracks B and C. Isn't this a waste of slots?

2 days in to the 2nd semester and I'm ready for my Christmas break.

And due to my Psych elective, I'll probably be missing the UPD lantern parade this year.

Was an AMSEP host this week. Only week I've had less sleep was when I was attending AMSC and there I was able to catch a nap during venue transfers. I really should have talked to the delegates more.

Finally finished with the amoeba trials. We'll just be counting the amoeba and then off to writing the paper. We have good results but we still need to frame it in a way that will make the paper outstanding (albeit all our methodological limitations and design faults). After everything, I really enjoyed doing this research but bench-type research is really not for me.

From Mainstreaming Natural Family Planning:
"On the average, lower-income couples desire more children, but also experience a larger gap between “wanted” and “actual” number of children. From another perspective, government does not need to engage in population control. What is needed is simply to address the needs of couples to arrive at their desired number of children, particularly among couples in the lower economic quintiles."

False dichotomy. One need not choose between population control and addressing the couples' desires. Actually, addressing the couples' desire is a means to attaining population control. And we need the government to engage in control (the better term is management) because the State doesn't have enough of its resources to sustain the current and future population, hence, we have overpopulation. (The Philippine population really needs to stop growing so 2% is not enough.)

The author seems to misinterpret the NDHS findings and falling into the trap of using biased non-generalizable surveys. The most striking is the conclusion that couples not using any form of family planning have no desire of planning their families. Duh? The NDHS found that they're not using any form because maybe they gave up or do not know how. It doesn't mean they don't want to. And two, it is laughable to elevate the findings of your poorly designed biased survey to a nationwide randomized survey such as the NDHS. Any student who knows basic research courses will notice that your sample will be non-representative and thus non-equivalent to the NDHS population. Actually, your survey won't even be representative of all the couples in your diocese.

It is commendable though that they are engaging in a form of extension service that is beyond that of spouting stupid statements like contraception is equal to abortion or that contraceptives are carcinogens. Hopefully, these sessions aren't or won't turn to indocrination sessions on NFP or none at all.

If NFP works for the people who desire to use NFP, why not use it. Just don't go overboard in criticizing other methods, people have the rights to choose their own.

Why am I watching As Told by Ginger episodes on Youtube when I should be:

a. Studying immunology
b. Writing my overdue reports
c.  Making some money
d. Making two new dances

I don't know.

And my glasses are missing again. Looks like the first money I'll earn will go to replacing them.

Ever heard of fatigue? Or prioritization? I have.

The freaking amoeba won't let me enjoy my sembreak. It's a good thing I have groupmates who are really bored at home. If this is how PhD students feel like, at least the one stuck in "wet" laboratories... no thanks! I'd rather not let my happiness be dependent on the growth of cells that I'm planning to kill anyway.

still have no job. I really want to have some sort-of stable income so I could save up for camera equipment, Christmas-related expenses and summer trips.

you sure know how to push people to fatigue. you seem to forget we have other things to do. things we already committed ourselves into months ago. *sigh* fine, I'll find some way to do it.

Finished The Gathering Storm.

Brandon Sarandon brought to the table what we found lacking with Robert Jordan: fast pacing.
Reading this one wasn't too much of a chore unlike the 3 books prior to this one where you find yourself groaning at a new plot twist or sidetrack to a main story branch. I did find myself wondering what is happening in the other branches. I'm really excited to read the Moiraine-Thom-Mat branch in the next books. And I'm very happy that Rand finally gets over his emo/steel/cuendillar phase.

I wish someone will give me the next book for my birthday. =)

Now to look for booksale copies of Asimov's Foundation novels.

Typical.

My last sembreak for the rest of my life will not be spent lounging at home. Instead, it'll be on research, stressful org stuff and some money-making in between.

We shouldn't stoop down to their level. They keep using simple cause and effect models. Epidemiology taught us there are other models. The web and the lever are good ones I think.

And their overpopulation articles are such good demonstrations of straw men and red herrings.

But you are.

 

One last stretch before the much awaited sembreak.

Gah...

As I am studying for my exam this Wednesday, I end up procrastinating.

Hence,


Abortion does not cause depression or low self-esteem in adolescents

and

Moving closer to outdoor recreation not a recipe for being more physically active

Of course these are US data and I would like to see how it is here in the Philippines. No doubt the culture of religious oppression and guilt would play a role. For the second link, I think this helps argue for a more walker friendly city.

Pictures from a museum visit in Indonesia. Only now have I found the time to upload photos. =|

My desktop PC is crashing. My younger brother tells me we need to reformat. Looks like I'm gonna spend my weekend backing up my files.

I'm more stress about the fact that I don't have an installer for Stata 11. I'm such a nerd.

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I'm very close to giving up on Pulmo. My brain wants to vomit.

I have a new steth. See the navy blue (looks black from the picture) with my old gray one. Actually, the gray one is not mine, it's my grandfather's.

Will be going to Bambang later. I hope some shops are open so I can buy a new steth. I do not want to resort to borrowing the consultant's stethoscope again during the practical exam because my steth can not pick up the faint sounds.

---
Only one month left. I'm so excited to work on some other stuff including our therapeutics research.

It hurts when you're doing a nice thing for someone and that person tells you to go to hell.

Now, I get an idea of how our OB coordinator feels.

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It's hard to be a leader of a group of people who feels like they're entitled to have special treatment just because they want to do something else. Reality check. Everyone wants to do something else. Everyone needs to be somewhere else. If you really want, I could just remove you from the list of those who worked in the research project. If you really need to go somewhere else, explain first before leaving and approach me asap to learn what you missed and what you need to do to make up for it.

And it's really hard to lead if people don't respect you. I guess they should just form their own group if they don't want to attend meetings. I've been relatively lenient because we are med students and presumably, mature individuals, but they're really forcing me to be a b*tch.

It has been a whirlwind week of ACTION. It started with a late lunch with the Japanese participants followed by a crazy Monday concerning a hotel, a hostage situation and disgruntled classmate, a few days of being a host (a GRO if you will), studying for a Repro exam and topped off with a night at Villa Escudero and leaving my beloved camera at the bus.

I'm glad with the past week (removing the hostage fiasco that is) and though it left me failing to meet several deadlines, I did make some new friends who I hope I'll be able to keep in touch with.

And I'm seeing how a few days of being together can already foster tolerance of other people and their cultures.

It's only been a month and I think I have accomplished more that what I had done last year. What a crazy month August has been. Though we won't have foreigners this September, there will still be lots of events to organize. Another good things is that I can almost smell sem break. Which means, rest, rest and preparing for EAMSC!

I can't believe I'm still awake to study for an exam. So this is how LUIV turns out if you try to have extra-curricular activities. Curse you med school!

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You've heard about the bus, right?

So abortion has come up again in the consciousness of Philippine media. In one story, a counselor for women who attempted abortion explained that abortion should not happen because the woman will feel extreme guilt regarding the act. Immediately, a question popped in my head, why should she feel guilty about it? Guilt occurs when you commit an act the society deems as unethical. (And the flood gates open for the ethics of abortion.)
But it is sad that our society is a blaming society. One in which women who commit abortion are shunned when them getting pregnant and subsequently getting an abortion is not her entire fault. I am curious as to what methods do these counseling centers use to convince women to keep their pregnancy. I glean from the story that it uses a more religious approach of labels, blaming and fear rather than a more neutral non-blaming laying it all on the table.

Actually, it is weird to use the word counseling when you only offer one viable option. You're not counseling, you're brainwashing.

Am I seriously arguing for abortion? I don't know. Just rambling. I just can't get over the fact that legalizing abortion would make the number go down. And even better, would ensure that women would not die due to back alley procedures ranging from overdoses of Cytotec or pushing a wire up her vagina.

Meeting people from other countries is fun. Too bad it costs an arm and a limb and a whole lot of work to attend those conferences.

I still have a backlog of photos to edit and upload though.

And I have to learn a bit of Chinese for the next conference.

I skipped class again today. I do make sure that I can just read up on that class besides I'd probably not learn the things I learned in the seminar if I just stick to the med curriculum.

I did learn a lot of new things.

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How do you make people into advocates?

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Hot issues right now: Sex Ed, Divorce, Abortion

No, now is not the time to introduce a divorce or abortion law. Focus on the RH bill first. Although the number of induced abortions and deaths due to it is horrendous and warrants immediate action, changing the protocols and retraining the health care professionals would have to suffice for now. The Church is still too noisy.

The Indonesians are leaving tomorrow and as I attempt to return to some semblance of normalcy, the training which we've been organizing since last year rears its ugly head. Far from the 50 participants, we'll only have 24. No point in putting the blame on someone but these issues will definitely appear in our project report.

At least the next module looks more benign than the Cardio module. Unfortunately, I'll have three exams on the week of the training and I'm really worried that I won't be able to recruit volunteers from UP to help out in ACTION.

Again, why do I keep doing this to myself?

Assisting in AMSEP Philippines by being a guide of Indonesians.

Leading our research group and coordinating the logistics of everything.

Mabuti na lang mabilis ako magbasa. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako pupulutin kung hindi.

Been back in the Philippines since last night and jumped head on into the swamp of school work waiting for me. The conference was too packed for me to be able to blog properly.

I need to find some time to blog about my Jakarta experience.

In brief though, the hospital in Jakarta will not make many UPM people happy. It's very nice but the whole philosophy behind it is not acceptable. And my friends from other countries agree. cheers for socialist medicine!

I will have Jakarta part 2 this week since some Indonesians will be coming. I won't be a major host but will try to help out as much as I can.

Now in Indonesia. I might not be presenting the paper I've worked hard for. Might. I also do not have a room for the night. It looks like I'll be staying in the hotel lobby for 8 hours. The email was clear that the committee will book for me but the lobby staff do not have a reservation under my name. A major problem is I haven't seen a single person from the Secretariat team and my group moderator is not replying to my message. This is not a good way to start the conference. =|

UPDATE: I did have a room but there were four of us and one slept on the floor. =| Two Indonesians also toured as around a part of Jakarta. I ate street food and survived. We also had this yummy kang kong dish. mmm... I don't think it's hard to be vegetarian in this country. Traffic here seems a bit worse since there's a feeling of being in Espana. The roads are cleaner though... much cleaner.

I also saw my paper in the Academic booklet. It was a nice feeling. I'm jealous of the countries who were able to make quantitative research projects. Next time, we'll do a better job.

Finding myself toxic again with all the juggling of responsibilities.

At least I have Indonesia to look forward to next week.

Unfortunately, I will be reading transes during my spare time there as I have a big test to come home to after that.

And then there's that blasted training we're organizing. I already feel the burden of being a secretary. Never again will I accept a secretary role.

Happy with the results of the 1st General Pathology exam.

Happy that my excuse request has been approved.

DOH Sec Ona is not making me hopeful about the Philippine health situation.

One is the striking lack of a Public Health background aside from advocating preventive nephrology and against brain drain, he has spent the rest of his career as a specialist and before becoming the new sec, the head of NKTI. The DOH needs not a specialist who has been stuck in a hospital for the majority of his career, the DOH needs a person who has worked in the communities and in public health programs.

But what really rubs me off is his desire to lift the transplant ban and allow "gratuity packages" for kidney donors. He fools no one. Everyone knows that the "gratuity package" is what he thinks is the appropriate market price of a healthy kidney. The gratitude of the recipient should not be expressed through a lump sum of money. Money that would actually tempt poor families to sell their kidneys. Add to that the inherent complexity of differentiating money given as gifts and money given as payment. A task I do not trust the DOH nor anyone for that matter to be successful in completing for all cases.

Lifting the transplant ban is stupid. Already, thousands of Filipinos die every year because of lack of available kidneys (and the prohibitive costs) yet Dr. Ona plans to siphon the few donated kidneys away from deserving Filipinos to other foreigners. I must use the nationalism card. The foreigner might be deserving as well but Filipinos deserve them too. What more, that Filipino will be working here and helping in the country's development. That foreigner will just pay a sum for the servics and then leave.

Actually, determining who is more deserving is not an important question. We should focus on the Filipino's right to health to which the State is duty bound to fulfill. Lifting the ban makes it harder for the State to fulfill its duty to fulfilling the right to health of Filipinos. As mentioned previously,  lifting it would just diminish the low supply of kidneys which would just rob more Filipinos their right to health.

Had a busy week and the following week is not looking good either. Times like these when I wish I want lesser and smaller things in life. or maybe it's just the colds talking.

The deadline for THE paper is looming. I'm at that stage where I hate everything I wrote.

I wonder when or if I'd ever get rid of that stage. I guess the only way to find out is to continue writing.

on miracles: maybe they happen. I've never experienced one but that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Still, it would be pretty hard to convince me that there is no "natural" or rational explanation for an event. I do accept that things of very low probability do occur. hey, if they don't occur then Life shouldn't have existed.

Happy Atheist Solidarity Day!

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Parents sue DepEd regarding Sex Ed

One, how many of you hypocrites have children enrolled in public schools?
Two, private schools have been "overtaking the parents' responsibility" for years now. If you are going to sue someone, sue one who has committed the act and not one who is intending to.
Three, your invocation of a clause from the Constitution is irrelevant. The sex education module will not even affect the morals of children. It is not a religion nor a values ed class.
Four, you should sue DepEd because they have values class which is "overtaking the parents' responsibility" for the child's moral development. But you don't want that because according to you the youth already has twisted morals.
Five, it is actually your Church who wants to include the moral implications of sex in the module. So you should first complain to them.

Our art of medicine lecturer shared stories of "rude" UPCM graduates.

It was toxic in the ER. A journalist was asked to leave since he is not allowed. He threatened to expose this "maltreatment" of media and write about how he was wronged. The intern present having enough of the journalist just told him to leave and even showed the journalist his nameplate and said, "Be sure that you don't incorrectly spell my name, ok?"

I probably would have done the same thing but our lecturer warned us that it is stupid to fight the media. And since I was recently called rude by a teacher I respect, I should work on creating a polite public persona. At least one I could use for patients and business acquaintances i.e. people I need something from. Cleaning myself up would help since a doctor also asked me why I look like I haven't taken a bath (I actually did but commuting in the summer heat from home to PGH unraveled most of its effects).

The bishop who attended the DepEd consultation said that they will only agree to sex ed if contentious material against certain doctrine of people are removed particularly those against of the Roman Catholic doctrine.

Uh... no. The DepEd needs to follow secular molarity free from religious doctrine. If it is contentious i.e. offends the RC doctrine or any doctrine for that matter, the teacher can note this in class. There is no need to remove it.

They also want a spiritual component to be involved. From any other person, this would be an okay suggestion but this is coming from a bishop and you know that what he's referring to spiritual development is development to becoming a good Catholic.

And I don't agree that sex should occur within marriage. Nor should they teach that sex should only happen in marriage. Sex should occur between responsible adults who have both understood the potential outcomes of intercourse and have prepared for it. In other words, consenting adults. Adults need not be married. The module could point out that having children out of wedlock would be difficult for the current society but it is not immoral. Having sex out of wedlock is immoral only in religious ethics and not secular ethics.

And having religious teaching in public school is unconstitutional.

In the end, this consultation is a farce. The RC Church is not for sex education. They don't even want using the word SEX. The DepEd should have a firm stance and not be bullied into weakening their module. Worse, they should not be bullied into making a module that forces religious belief unto others especially young and impressionable individuals. If the RC Church is so worried about it sex ed, they should hold their own sessions. I think that is what Sunday school is for anyway.

One, there is no absolute normal. A doctor should know that there is always a small chance that an abnormal lab test is not abnormal for the patient.

Two, ask before attacking. I wouldn't have gotten annoyed have you chosen better words to criticize our work.

Three, don't assume that I don't know what I'm doing. I may not have experienced as many things as you have but don't treat me like I know nothing.

Four, yes. BHWs can last four hours listening to lectures. Their levels of internal motivation is quite wonderful.

Five, We did have a relatively good session. At least my classmates seem to have learned something.

I spent my Saturday afternoon with the child residents of Hospicio de San Jose talking
about peace, war and climate change.

LUIII officially ended with enrollment yesterday. And I really should be posting on LUIII so here it goes.

LUIII started with me hating medicine. Coming from a 4 week stint as a research assistant for a health policy project made me want to just stop taking up medicine and just take the plunge into the public health arena. Of course, my dependence on my parents and my desire to become a doctor won over so here I am a 2nd year med student.

To avoid the feeling of utter uselessness to Philippine society, I had to join organizations. I am active in three: MSSR, RSO and the MSC Social issues VolCorps. These organizations provide a venue to complement my medical education. UPCM wants us to be community-oriented doctors and I feel these three help me grow to be that kind of doctor. Summer immersions and real community work beyond medical missions? RSO. Updated on national issues? MSC SocIsh. Peace and human rights? Global issues? Networking? MSSR. I've got my bases pretty covered.

I was pretty sure I was sending off anti-social vibes during my first few days in med school. I couldn't even bring myself to say the class cheer. That all changed. I'm pretty sure I'm well integrated socially. Us having to follow a seat plan and that art of medicine module did move things along.

Academically, I exceeded my expectations. The subjects were challenging but surprisingly, I did well in the subject I feared most, OS 202 or Neurology and Endocrinology. I'm still bewildered by the score I got at the first lecture exam. Having friends who tutored me on the anatomy of the brain really helped. And the weird thing is that I got the same grades for the other OS subjects (except for the Thorax module were grades were curved) despite the feeling that I really did well in that abdomen and pelvis modules. The dreadful part is getting relatively low grades in our research subject despite having an arguably good paper, presentation and positive results on top. I have yet to evaluate this subject but they'll be hearing a lot from me and their stupid evaluation method.

Having a BSPH degree really helped. As the year progressed, I realized that I can "let go" of the histology portions of the modules since I already know them enough. The time saved was spent on reviewing areas where I was weak, such as gross anatomy. Medicine has been good because it allowed me to practice skills I learned in undergrad. At least when I get out, I have increased mastery over skills such as making health promotion materials, managing groups and writing research papers.

Overall, LUIII is a good year. I hope LUIV brings more fun and cheer.

my first AIDS candlelight memorial.

The current DOH has managed to make great strides in important health issues: smoking and HIV/AIDS. Huzzah!

AIDS Candlelight Memorial March later, 4pm, from Remedios Circle to Rajah Sulayman Park.

Day 2 was island hopping day.

Visited Palawan. Coron, Palawan that is.
Place is so beautiful, my pictures fail to capture its full beauty. But I tried.

Tomorrow is election day.

I have not been such a responsible voter. I have no idea who to vote for our local government positions. I don't have a complete list of senators. I don't even have a final president yet. At least I have a party-list group already.

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I feel like the candidate I despise will win tomorrow. I'll just have to hope for the best because I really can't stomach the fact that he will represent us in the international community. He will decide what laws will pass and who will head our executive departments. Heck! I'll even have to listen to his SONA for six years.

Part of me wishes he'll do a terrible job so at least the Filipinos will finally learn that voting for someone just because they can trust not to steal him isn't enough. Sure, you trust he won't still? But can you trust him to manage and lead our many offices? our nation's executive machinery? The president's job is not just preventing corruption. In fact, I don't even trust him to do that. Sure, HE might not be corrupt but what about the other members of the government? What about that auditor? that MMDA officer? that office clerk?

But I really hope he does well because I can't go serve the government if this system remains unchanged. I'll probably stick to newspaper and online articles though 'cause his voice and appearance make me cringe. I know I'm shallow like that.

So I have a bunch of reports and a couple of proposals messing my head.

How can I possibly have a vacation with me trying hard to be a researcher?

So much for a stress-free Palawan getaway.

But it is not so bad. I decide when to work and once you get over an issue, it is pretty smooth riding... uhm... er... writing.

I guess a career in research is a very plausible path.

Just attended the HIV/AIDS meeting hosted by the Philippine College of Physicians and Philippine Society of Infectious Diseases.

I learned new stuff regarding the pathophysiology of HIV/AIDS and the HIV/AIDS program of the health sector. I also met some people.

Someone told me that as a med student, HIV status doesn't matter since you chances are you won't be doing anything that would put a patient at risk of getting an infection. Disclosing it will only harm your career. Too bad cause we are supposed to be the lead fighters of stigma against HIV.

The only thing is I'd hope more people had attended and we hoped to have heard some views by religious groups. Ironically, many religious groups actually have hospices and clinics for HIV/AIDS patients but the top. Some religious health workers also encourage the use of condoms especially for sex workers. The problem is Top Management can't get through their silly hats the value of condoms. I guess obsession with the afterlife can do that to you. Unfortunately for them, living a good life doesn't seem to impede a person from getting to heaven. Well, I really don't know since I haven't died yet.

I've been very busy with sudden work both paying and non-paying. At least I get to practice photography again.

So I failed to write a recap of 1st year. Crap. I also failed to do very important org stuff, attend a summit on health financing and have a spontaneous dinner with college friends. O the things we do for our dreams.

I'm still going to write that recap. Promise!

Field work has been good but having minimal net access for five days is very hard. I realize how much I like community work but unfortunately, I also realize more and more how I'm too tied up to city life. Good thing I still have a few more years before I have to choose between the provinces or the city. Not that the city is lacking in people to help. Then again, maybe it is just the internet access that bothered me.

I'm going on immersion this afternoon.

First year is finally over. Second sem has been kinder than the first but I know that's just to make up for the B*tch goddess that is LU4. Still busy though and I have to finalize my summer schedule. Unfortunately, making money is not included.

I don't know why those people pushing for natural cures are so obsessed with poop. You don't even secrete your waste in poop. Poop is the part of food your body doesn't want. If you want wastes (toxins if you will) the body truly makes, look into urine, expired air and sweat.

And some people on Sunday 8-9pm AM radio are illegally practicing medicine. They examine, diagnose and treat people through their radio program.

studying for our comprehensive exam while worrying about our research projects.

and I read some of the questions of last year's compre and one question goes like this:

A patient is experiencing nausea and vomiting. What bone is affected?

oh sh*t
re-reading all that we've studied about the human body makes me wanna puke my brains out. the musculoskeletal, head and neck modules makes me want to quit med all together.

the worst part is when you try answering the sample exams and you see how much you forgot then you remember it took you days of re-reading to get that stuff in then you realize you have less than a week left.

so I could have composed that better but who cares, I still have compre to face.

been busy giving birth to writing our research paper and being such a med student.

anyway, we visited DAMAS which is a shelter/orphanage in Manila.

Benign days are not just suiting me. These "lazy" nights spent reading fiction, writing and editing papers and sleeping early is not right. Still, my mind is a jumble with all the things I plan to do this summer and I just realized that I might have to seek approval of an ethics board for a project.

And summer just sprang upon our unprepared bodies. Morning commute is hot, sticky and uncomfortable. Noontime travel is just hell. I still haven't saved enough to purchase a new lens.

so my friend didn't win a councilor seat.

Too bad, I was hoping the student body will finally unite and demand that the CHDP program be fixed (they have 2-3 years more in that place) and coordinated instead of initiating a separate immersion program.

and the red party, got the two top positions in the usc. blame it on uncharismatic opponents.

I should brace myself for a year of stupidity and jumps in reasoning such as private = bad, not talking to us = no consultations, accreditation = tuition fee increase, attending rallies = serving people, attending class = ignoring national issues.

Maybe, they'll prove me wrong. I hope so. I don't want a USC who doesn't know how to work with the administration.

On beliefs: We never had religious ethics in class. The question assumes you will act as ethically as possible following secular ethical principles. Passing responsibility to someone thus delaying care is not ethical. And we have a method to show that it is.

So yes, our teacher is correct. There is a (note: only one) right answer.

Don't even get me started on how selfish you sound...

If you trace the sudden boom in attention, you'd encounter the start on the day Gibo Teodoro visited UP Manila for the Make Health Count Presidentiable series (spearheaded by the UPM USC).

In that forum, I was in charge of filtering the questions the audience can ask to the presidentiable. The event started late and just after a few questions, the Gibo staff were telling us we have time for one last question. Flustered with the number of questions flooding in, we had to choose the "last" question. It was narrowed down to two: smoking and HIV/AIDS. We chose HIV/AIDS. And apparently the one who asked the question was an advocate of the infection in the Philippines. And now we have this. Which is good. The NEC and DOH has actually been trying hard and failing to capture the mass and media's attention on the disease and they have the surveillance data to back it up.

How funny that I unintentionally played a role in HIV/AIDS advocacy in the country. This is  something to tell my grandchildren or students or whatever when I'm old and moldy.

In much sadder news, January 2010 had the highest number of news cases of HIV diagnosed ever in the Philippines. The NEC points to needle-sharing among IV-drug users.

medgroove 2010

Is it my fault I was sitting in that location?

Medrhythmia 2010

Love love the stage lights.

Organic Agriculture Act of 2009 (Text from senate) may be a step back, away from food security for the Filipino people.

Why? Though the text has no mention of GM food restriction or special labeling, it uses in its definition of "organic agriculture" the definition held by International Federation of Organic Agriculture Movements (IFOAM). And this organization outright rejects the use of Genetically-modified organisms in agriculture. Looking at the reasons of IFOAM, one feels that they are more about propaganda rather than evidence as so far, no studies have shown that GM foods cause "genetic pollution", are "threats to human health" or lead to "violation of farmers' fundamental property rights and endangerment of their economic independence." What is truly laughable is their claim that genetic engineering is "incompatible with sustainable agriculture."

GM foods have been in use in the country for years now and several prominent research and extension programs by IRRI and UPLB is using modern genetic engineering technology in order to help farmers achieve better yield while protecting the environment from harm. Making organic agriculture the national policy would make these efforts moot and useless.

Organic agriculture methods might have to be adopted but it doesn't mean that we should reject genetic engineering. Our country cannot afford to neglect a tool that will help it achieve food security.

It comes to me as a surprise that the act is just waiting for the signature of pGMA to be approved. Where are the GM advocacy groups when we need them? The DOST have attended the hearings, why then is the definition of organic agriculture so restricting?

And it comes at a time when the US is calling for a rethinking of agriculture.

So the AFP detained and tortured 43 health workers attending a health training in Morong. The AFP claim they are part of the NPA and the training is a training on bomb making or some other skills terrorists and rebels need to learn and not on health.

Having heard the military spokesperson on Crossroads (the ANC show):
- Why have you detained and prevented these people access to legal counsel for days?
- Even if they were rebels, you can not treat these people the way you treated them. And aren't we supposed to presume innocence even if we have overwhelming evidence at hand?

In italics are some things that the AFP claim support their accusations regarding the participants:
-Low educational attainment
-Event wasn't publicized
-Groups who support the Morong 43 are mostly leftists
-They have revealed their NPA affiliations during their detainment

The first two reveal how ignorant the military is regarding the prevailing approach towards community health. Educational background is irrelevant in health skills training. You do not need a college degree to be able to protect you and your community's health. You do not need to be the brightest one in the community to be able to pick up these skills. That is the purpose of the training anyway.

Trainings of community health workers are not publicized or advertised in the usual ways. It is not only due to the effin high expense to do these things but also the uselessness of these publicizing modalities. And no AFP, GOs and NGOs do not need to tell you about all the trainings they will conduct in an area. They, as a form of courtesy, will inform the local officials but not you. Why should they? Unless they seek help in maintaining security of the training site, they wouldn't interact with you. These trainings are indeed spread through word of mouth and communication channels already present in the community. Sometimes, the training is invitation only because the NGOs have already identified what communities are targeted and the only groups they will contact for participants. I repeat, they don't need to publicize these trainings. These are not huge events needing humongous number of attendants. They don't need to tell everybody, they just need to tell the involved communities.

The AFP also seem to have this notion that the organizers should have screened this people. No! They screen them if they are capable of giving back to their community by imparting or using their new skills but they don't screen for character, legal history or warrant of arrests. One, you don't have a good database of warrant of arrests easily accessible by the public or NGOs and two, that is not their job. That is yours. And lastly, why should they forbid people to learn these skills especially if these people are chosen by the community itself.

For the fourth, confessions made during torture is and should be invalid. Under torture and extreme stress, a normal person can be made to do anything. Given that the detainment seem to be one big torture fest, why give weight to their confession?

And for the third. That's one of the stupidest things I've heard in a long time (and I frequently read posts regarding quackery in SB). These groups are supporting the Morong 43 not because they are necessarily involved in them. Rather, they saw that attack on HR and the illegal nature of how the AFP handled the Morong 43 from capture to detainment. If you can let go of your bias against the left maybe you can realize that your attempts at hiding your mistakes is failing, greatly.

I wonder why the DOH is being mum about this though. DOH being a huge partner in promoting community health programs should have been one of the first to react to this. And a good thing they could do is introduce the AFP, PNP and other GOs to primary health care and community health.

Suddenly became one of the official photographers for an APMC event.



1.8 saved my ass.

I'm so craving for that Tamron lens.

I'll post more once my schedule frees up.

My classmates think I only have three emotions: triumph, disappointment and disgust. Of course not, I also have hate, disdain, apathy, discontentment, anger and frustration.

I think I will fail in helping a friend achieve her goal. Maybe next year, I'll bully her into working harder.

I badly want need a new novel to read. I can't bear anymore having free time spent pining for transes to read.

Things happened in January...

Saw but did not finish Imburnal.
4 hours is too long for a movie.
I did manage to reach the third hour. I'll just have to see the last hour someday.
Yes, I did not "get" it.

Erap can run. COMELEC believes that the Constitution and the claims of the very people who drafted it is irrelevant because the people know what is right. The SC agrees. If Noynoy wins this election and realizes he really can't handle this, he can resign within 2 years and run again in 2016. Mar becomes president, Korina becomes 1st lady. Lalalalala...

Apparently Ang Ladlad can also run but they won't be included in the ballot, so you can't vote for them... oh... they will be included in the ballot but the COMELEC is whining that it's more work, we hate gays... no they didn't say that... and  they fear that there would be wasted votes on partylist groups who will be disqualified after the election and they are bigots.

Somebody is campaigning against GM food in the Philippine Star and I was too busy to email her about her stupidity and now its too late. If they fear GM and GE so much they should just shut down IMBB and IRRI and that place in LB where they breed tamaraws. They should also stop taking medicines and having diagnostic tests.

I have to be in two places at the same time on Tuesday.

And will have to sneak in study time for endocrinology.

Another week of fun fun and more fun!

---
We're going to buy an canon ixus 95 as replacement for the lost sony cybershot. I just realized last week that three events I was supposed to be covering were still in the memory card and the only real hope of getting a similar bag is if I go to Japan again... or if I befriend a person who is going to be an AMSEP participant for Japan this summer. hmmm...

I lost my small digicam along with the bag we bought in Japan, our family's noche buena pictures, AMSA GA pictures and pictures of our wonderful cells. life sucks.

How in the effing world that thing disappeared in the midst of tons of people I know is beyond me.

And as luck would have it, the security camera was nonfunctional during that time period.

Looks like I have to postpone the purchase of the Tamron lens so I could replace that point and shoot.

My parents were real nice about it though.

I'm still alive and have actually been taking a lot of photos this past week. Too bad I have two weeks of nonstop neurosciences ahead that would prevent me from screening, editing and uploading those pictures.

My hard drive is nearing its maximum capacity. I resolve to save enough money to buy an external hard drive. I also want to buy a new lens by this summer. More carinderia and less trips to the book store should do the trick.

I also misplaced  very important object last Friday and its eating up that I would not be able to look for it till Monday. I'm fairly certain (and hoping very very hard) that I left it in a safe place like Dualan lab (the place where the college keep the cadavers).

I'm so looking forward to February when neuro and that org event is over and done with and I can move on to other things such as that summer immersion and maybe a new research project. I don't care if I know nothing about the things we'll be taking up on February, after neuro I feel more or less invincible. Watch out when I eat my own words come March.

orgs... dapat tigilan ko muna ang pagdalo sa mga meeting.

Saturday - AMSA GA
Sunday - Gawa ng sayaw at paper mache islands
Next week - RSO week toxicity!
Jan 30 - SPARK + Sayaw Manila (pero di naman ako sasayaw)

Stress junkie ata talaga ako.

Exams? Whenever. hahaha

Degenerating blog posts are bad. I'll post pictures when I find time the time to clean up the PC and increase the disc space.

My first post in multiply (still beats facebook in terms of photo hosting) contains histology slides.

Way to start a year...

Now I resume cramming for the exams will be having this January (med school has been one big cramfest so far). Student mode... ON!