I was attending Mass and the homily was boring, if not non-insightful so I just let my thoughts wander. To keep up with the religious theme, I decided to think about God. I decided to think about the existence of God. True, Kant said that logic shouldn't be used in tackling God's existence and one should rely on faith and belief alone but I decided why not. Turns out, he was right because if you used logic you'd reach an atheist conclusion(There is no God) or to the very least realize that God just doesn't care what you do in the living world, bleak but logical. Of course, I discounted those so called "miracles" and relied only on what I think could be measurable and quantifiable events.

Logic says that if all the things we believe about God is true we'd be experiencing Him or Her every time we ask for help since God did promise to extend his/her hand to us at our time of need but I do not think that happens... no wait, that does not happen at all. Ultimately, our problems are solved by our own hands and actions. Some would say God guided them and what not but you cannot prove that. You cannot conduct a mental or physical experiment to test that claim. In the end, you just have to believe that God did guide you and everyone else in the world(God is omnipotent and omniscient). And if God is indeed all good, logically, murder would not exist. Tests of faith are fine but allowing murder is taking it too far; what about the person that was killed what happens to his test for entry to heaven? I do not believe all those murdered are good people. And all those children who die everyday? What about them? They can't all be innocent. If God does care, he would stop that person in mid-action and zap him straight to hell.
But, if you do believe that God does care, you can. I would like to remind that faith should not be proven and questioned using logic and rationality(religion is another matter), I was just pondering on that impossibility.

During the part where those attending Mass recite the Apostle's Creed, I didn't open my mouth. I cannot force myself to lie. I do not think Christ rose again after death or there are saints in heaven. I do believe in the God the Creator(the Creator of what? the natural laws? the one who triggered the Big Bang? certainly not the direct creator of us humans, we are just an accident). I do think that the many of the teachings of Jesus are sound and could be used as a guide on how to live the life of a good human being. But all those other things that the Catholic religion(not faith) require me to believe in is just too far. Many people would hate me but I trust in Science and Logic more than what religion(as in the dogma) is saying to me. Science and Logic do have limitations, I do not think we'll ever really prove conclusively the existence of the Big Bang or prove that the current theory of the Death of the Universe due to Expansion(solar systems drift apart, soon planets fly off then atoms decompose into subatomic particles and all things would move away from each other never meeting each other again). We cannot create a Universe in the lab but I think the newly developed accelerators are nearing that goal and we won't be here when the Universe is dying.

Yes, confusing, unorganized, characteristic of ramblings. What I'm just saying is that one shouldn't try to prove his or her faith using logic. Say I believe in God or God is dead. Just say it and no more. God's existence is beyond the living person's capability to prove and understand(if it was only one religion would exist). Maybe he or she does exist or maybe not or maybe he or she did exist once and is now dead, we just won't know all we'll ever know is that we live in a world that is functioning apparently without any help from God.

UPDATE: And you are an... AGNOSTIC. Or at least I'm becoming one. I do not think I meet all the categories yet(heck I'm a believer). Not that it is such a bad thing. And I do not think I will be that person Mitch Albom is describing in Tuesday's With Morrie(the one where he points out the difference in the deaths of an agnostic and an atheist, so false...)