I just got my book from Pfizer:
"Moments in Leadership: Case Studies in Public Health Policy and Practice"

I'm thinking this will keep me sane through first semester. I'm also hoping that this will assure that I never lose my PH way of thinking (health systems, cost-effectiveness, consequences).

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Only a few in our batch passed our Gross Anatomy exam. I'm not confident that I passed after realizing the number of trick questions that were included.

When you fall down, you pick yourself up and stand again... wiser and stronger.

It's okay if I fail but it'll jeopardize my desire to be eligible for the Track B internship in my 5th year. Then again there's always the final exams.

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In other news, I'm sorely disappointed with one of my extra-curricular activities. Poor organization. Whatever happened to the vision of a 5-star physician? Doctor nga wala namang alam sa mundong ginagalawan. Ano ba yan?!

Studying the intricacies of the hand. Anatomy doesn't scare me much anymore. I hope that is still the case after the exam tomorrow. Surprisingly, Histology is starting to bare its nasty claws again but I think it's just my stupid pride.

No classes on Monday. Another sad day for med students. Though I dislike dissection sessions, I do not want to sacrifice on due to the celebration of a religious group. Stupid group who has to hold their celebrations on a workday. But it was quite funny to read the thinly veiled attempts of CHED to decrease the number of people who will attend the SONA rallies. I'm not going because I have a test on Tuesday which I need to prepare for really well. And as I was listening to the reasons of DepEd, I suddenly found myself transported to a communist country where people have to stop working to listen to the speech of our great leader. Hohoho!

Very hot and humid weather.

I really hope it starts to rain again soon.

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The past week has been though on my body. I'm not sick just very tired physically. We had three dissection sessions this week involving skinning the body, removing fascia and looking for different anatomical structures. I like dissecting though because there is great fulfillment in finding that tiny structure hidden under a pile of connective tissue, fat and muscle. And what's better is scary structures stop being scary because I can now visualize them in my head and have felt them with my hands.

The really bad thing though is the formalin. It makes you cry. It makes you nauseous. It makes my nose runny and painful.

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I've volunteered for something big. I'm excited. Will tell more once, I'm done with it.

http://www.bulatlat.com/main/2009/07/19/lohika-ng-rali/2/ - Warning: Nosebleed Filipino for the uninitiated

Basically, he says that rallies are the best exercise of activism. For even though the success of the rally couldn't be proven or measured, the participants feel that it is a success. A collective experience of releasing pent up anger and thoughts. A sense of empowerment. A feeling that one is able to do anything.

Now for the more practical among us, rallies are inefficient (though can be highly effective) ways of raising demands. I tend towards the advocacy over the activism side because of this. I find it really hard to participate in something so inefficient, something messy, disorganized and an activity largely fueled by emotion rather than actual contemplation.

The author is bothered why there are few UP students who have attended rallies. He argues that the liberal education and liberating education, we should have experienced or should be experiencing would necessarily lead us to see that rallies are good tools for raising our voices and promoting change. Again, a myopic view of liberal and liberating education. Of course, it is entirely plausible UP is failing to liberate the minds of its students which should then entail curricular revisions and changes in the teaching methods used.

Went to Cinemalaya Cinco.

Watched Sanglaan (meh... just okay overall) and Last Supper No. 3 (frustrating, hilarious and with a hint of sadness).

Saw Mylene Dizon who became so much hotter all of a sudden after years of disappearance. Sorely tempted to get her autograph. Hello? Star of 100?

Sorely tempted to steal a photo from an interactive art exhibit. Just might do it tomorrow.

I really want to watch Engkwentro but most of it's show times are inaccessible for me unless I skip the Acquaintance party on Friday. hmm...

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Designing health education materials again. I really don't like this task; too many art components for my taste.

I'm going to have a very interesting Friday next week. I'm really excited.

Life has been slowly moving towards a routine or some semblance of order at least. I'm still wary of the upcoming curve ball that will make life more interesting.

better if I had wider lens...hm...

I don't know why I keep taking down notes in class. I almost never read them unless the transcriptions are really bad and even then, I'd consult the books first. It's even bad for the environment in way because I use up paper and ink.

I maintain that it's primary use is to keep me awake through class. Then again, note taking is still not enough during siesta period where I end up dozing off while jotting something down.

It's not for practicing my handwriting which has been sucky since forever.

I would like to believe it's helpful in synthesizing and integrating knowledge and concepts. I especially like it when majority of my notes are diagrams and drawings. If you can make it into a diagram or drawing, you know and understand it. Of course, diagrams have limitations but I have my brain to fill up those missing pieces and contradictions.

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My love for photography has returned. Last night I spent a good hour in post-processing and uploading pictures. It's so therapeutic. Looking at pictures you took, discovering the beauty it contains. *sigh*

I don't have fisheye lens or a lomo can. Just played around with a lomo viewfinder.

ps
The thing about OSI curriculum demanding that you read multiple books for one lecture: It's true. I'm juggling three books right now.

Our neuro exam results came out.

Surprisingly, I got a really good grade. It's good because it means that I will be able to maintain a respectable GWA. It's bad because I suck at anatomy and I still got that grade.

And I know that knowledge on those anat structures will be really handy in the higher physio portion so I should remain on my toes regarding neuro.

First OSCE next week. I'm excited.

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Had my first ever group photowalk. It was nice, shooting in groups. Next time I'll get more shots of people.

I feel so tired.

I have been participating in extra-curricular activities throughout my four undergraduate years. I can't remember of a week I have been a full-time student devoted only on academics except during finals season. Even my sem and summer breaks have been used up. Yet I still do it.

In med school, I have to face that fact that I need to devote more time to study. I already sacrificed my fitness and exercise time. I don't want to sacrifice my extra-curriculars. I'm so torn. Could I survive being a very active member of 5 organizations, two are university-wide orgs. When I look at my schedule, Sundays are the only days left for rest and relaxation. I have to give up something but I don't know what.

Woke up with a throbbing headache and a sore body.

The soreness I don't mind much because it will force me to do stretching exercises which I need to do more.
The throbbing I do mind. A lot. I didn't even had the appetite to eat breakfast. And since I had to take this medicine which makes me drowsy I ended up studying very little this morning.

I noticed I get sick after going to mass. Therefore, I should stop. Hahaha.

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Religious: I work towards getting out of this world whole and get into heaven.
Atheist:  I work to stay in this world for as long as possible in order to turn it into heaven.

Random question: Who pays for the hospitalization and medical check-ups of president GMA?

If it is from the tax or part of her presidential health plan then why does she keep on availing services in the expensive private hospitals like St. Lukes and Asian Hospital? Does this health plan cover ALL of her expenses or has a limit (like in PhilHealth)?

If she is the one who pays for it, then okay. Go spend your money but the annual pay-check of a president doesn't leave room for executive check ups or 3-day holidays in private hospitals.

shet. wala talaga akong kwenta sa gross anatomy. Batuhin mo ko ng slides. Ibabad mo ako sa harap ng microscope buong araw. Huwag mo lang ako pilitin na mag-aral ng gross anatomy. Buti na lang matino ang aming lecturers (although may isang parang hinahabol at isa namang may sleep inducing voice) at ang kanilang slides. At mabuting-mabuti na may ka-grupo akong taga-Psych na previously exposed sa gross anatomy ng brain.

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Kailangan ko na talaga bawas-bawasan ang aking extra-curricular activities. Hindi dapat ako ginagabi ng uwi araw-araw.

Well, I don't go after religion but if I ever do this might be the best reason I would be able to muster.

"I go after religion because it represents a particularly nasty form of tribalism, a set of beliefs that distinguish some human beings that are in any meaningful way indistinguishable on the basis of what superstition they hold....It (religion) erects artificial barriers between people and then attacks those on the other side of the barrier. As a form of tribalism, religion is frequently deadly and can't be broken of its vicious habits." Freethinker Sunday Sermonette, Revere

Besides, my immediate social circle are devout but benign enough. And I value friendship over my personal beliefs unless of course those friends are starting to trample on someone else's freedom.

I always thought I'd meet more non-religious people in med, I guess I'm wrong or I'm just not looking hard enough.

I've been grappling with flu-related tinnitus. It's such a pain. I blame it for the lurking headache I have all day.

It seems that I've infected two members of our household: my dad and my cousin. I pity my mom, she'll be playing nurse again next week.
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Oh nose! Here comes cardiac arrest again. Which is a cause but not really the cause of death. As our epid prof has told us, most of us will die of cardiac arrest whatever the real cause is.

So the aH1N1 pandemic is not likely it release its grasp on the Philippines with community transmission now ongoing even outside the greater manila areas (albeit, in pockets of areas). Ease of transmission combined with low case fatality makes for a long lasting epidemic. I subscribe to the deadlier the disease, the shorter the epidemic theory.

Anyway, DOH and all true health advocates should take this opportunity to finally get people to have better health practices. Handwashing and responsible coughing are really good habits to learn. Establishments should start to realize that soap dispensers should contain actual soap, not colored water. And finally, the DOH and BFAD could start their crack down on the food supplement business which has been manipulating people into believing their crap for so long now. I was happy to hear last night that the Sec Duque of DOH has finally released a stern and clear statement about food supplement companies claiming their products could cure aH1N1.

Hopefully, DOH realizes that the biggest mistake they had was being too lax on these companies. PITAHC which is a research arm of the DOH for alternative medicine should start doing its job of researching the validity of these claims. And the simplest thing they could do is to start using Filipino or Cebuano or whatever labels instead of the No Approved Therapeutic Claim one. I suggest, Hindi Napatunayang Nakakagamot but Hindi Nakakagamot is also fine and much shorter.

I'm so tired even though this week has been light compared to the usual load in PH with Std practice. I don't even dance much during trainings now. My lifestyle has turned sedentary. Maybe I should try running around campus or playing tennis more regularly. I'd have to find free time though because the only days left for me are Friday and Thursday afternoons. And I feel the lack of sleep already. damn...

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Cutting classes. Responsible cutting that is. If we're going to watch Sicko, I'll definitely ask our preceptor for a different activity or have that time for self-study.

Do it or not?

I've already done the necessary work so I could skip one activity.

Dammit!

Two days in CM.

First day was a full day topped off with stdc practice. So much for saying goodbye to extra-curriculars right?
I've been spending much time walking through Lara hall. I still haven't gotten over the fact that the CM is my new home now. And no new friends yet, maybe I shouldn't spend lunch alone. It is not helping that my seatmates do not initiate conversation. I sound like a whiny kid.

My body clock was disrupted by waking up at 5 am for the first day. I'm starting to appreciate power naps again. My naps during the 2 week vacation were longer and left me lethargic, not energized.

Second day was less academic. I tried doing the homework but the doctor wasn't in. Sucks. Good thing next Wednesday is Manila day so I have time to go to the BHC again. I talked in front of a large crowd. I hate it, my hands were shaking and everything. My voice was okay and so was my posture. Actually, everything was okay, I was even doing the sweep the room thing except for my visibly shaking hands.

I attended another organization meeting and volunteered myself to do more things. Yep, I'll always be going home late. Good luck studies right?

Add to the fact that all four BSPH magna cum laude graduates before us were able to get the US title during their first year in medicine. Crapola! I don't need that. My inner judge is sadistic enough without that fact.